Having Trouble With Change?

Many, many people would like to make change work for them in their lives and in their businesses. Unfortunately, many people struggle with change because they do not understand that your point of view (POV) or perspective about change is the place where change has to start.

How many of you want better results in your life? It could be an area of your life such as: relationships, health, finances, work, parents, and children, perhaps even yourself.
If your answer was “YES, I want better results,” what is implied by your yes? That’s right perhaps you are not satisfied with your current results, you can see yourself doing better – these are true. But the implication I see is that you have to acknowledge that change has to occur. Your thinking, your decisions and or your actions of behaviours have to change.
How many of you resist change, that is, it’s your first impulse, no I am not going to do that?
From the time we are born (conceived) what is the only constant? That’s right change. Yet too many people see “change” as the enemy, something to be feared and avoided despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary.
Here’s the thing, if you see change as the enemy, something to be avoided or feared you’ll struggle trying to improve your results.
Here are a few questions I’ve been asking people for the last 30 years. See how you do on them:
  • When are people most willing to change their approach to work?
  • When are people willing to change they way they deal with their health?
  • When are people most willing to change the way they deal with their relationships?
  • When are people most willing to change the way the deal with their finances?
The answer is the same, when things are bad enough, when I have to. Here are the most common answers I hear across North America.
  • Work: when I have lost my job or threatened with losing my job
  • Health: when I am flat on my back in hospital recovering from _____
  • Relationships: when he/she has left me or about to leave me
  • Finances: when the giant visa bill arrives or I have to beg borrow and steal to make ends meet.
These answers point to the #1 key change motivator – it’s called CRISIS AND SHOCK. We run our lives this way, as we do our businesses, our governments and our society.
Einstein is quoted having said the “problems of today cannot be solved with the level of thinking it took to create them!” He also defined insanity in a non-clinical way, “doing the same think over and over again expecting different results.”
So you wanting better results pass directly through change. The quality of your relationship with change is a key factor in whether you will or won’t succeed in producing better results.
Back to being born, living our lives, and then dying. As we all know change is the only constant whether we like it or not. We may be in denial about how we look, yet no amount of potions, lotions or pills prevent us from aging physically. Even if we understand and agree with this point, we can and do tell ourselves and others “I don’t have to change!” “You can’t make me change!” Psychologically and emotionally we can and do this – we resist change. Our arrogance about change and others in our world helps us turn change into the enemy, often times we are powerless around change – Change runs us!
If I want to make my life more enjoyable, easier, less stressful and frustrating then I need to make change my friend. I need to improve my relationship with change.
Here are a few tips in befriending change:
  1. Actively participate in all discussions involving change whether they are initiated by you, your partner, family member, coworker or boss.
    • Ask your questions
    • Seek clarity
  2. Ask yourself – WIIFM? – What’s in it for me to support this change? How will I benefit from this change
  3. Resisting change makes things worse for you and other.
  4. Decide to be part of the solution.
On the way to better results you will go through many changes, welcome them see them for what they are, an opportunity for you to learn and grow and move towards the results you do want with less stress and frustration and more confidence and joy.

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